Neath family turned into stereotyped Italian puppets by pasta sauce

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A Neath family have reacted to the news today that Dolmio pasta sauce is meant as an occasional treat and not an everyday meal, by warning of the real dangers of eating too much of the sauce.

Dai Lardguzzler, 35, who now goes by the name of Giuseppe Pepperoni, told his tragic tale to WalesOnCraic:

“Itsa alla well and good them telling us nowa, but itsa too leetle too late! Alla of my family havea been eatinga the sauce every daya for years. Nowa we find we have been changed eento stereotyped velvet puppets! The salta, sugar and fat are the least of our worries! Mama Mia!”

His wife, Ima Lardguzzler, who now feels the urge to call herself  Sofia Pepperoni, agrees:

“Thatsa righta! I am worried that we are eatinga eeven more pasta these daysa. Eets not beena our Dolmio day, thats for sure!”