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Nation confused as to how the fuck it’s September already

Wales has been left scratching its collective head after finding itself confused about how the fuck it’s September already.

August disappeared as quickly as a parachutist’s fart and has left many people worried that it’ll be Christmas next week.

One woman told WalesOnCraic:

“WTF? It’s September already? When did that happen? I’m going to go into work tomorrow and ask them if they know. I just can’t believe it.”

September usually comes after August in the traditional calendar, and often marks the start of Christmas. Shoppers all over the country have already started stocking up on pickled onions and sprouts.

“I’ve just been down Kwik Save and bought all the sprouts I could see,” said one shopper. “There’s nothing worse than finding yourself short of sprouts on Christmas Day is there?” she said.

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