A minute’s silence held for those who’ve just bought new diesel cars

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A minute’s silence has been held for those who have just splashed out thousands on a new diesel car.

It follows news that diesel owners are about to be royally shafted by increased taxes, congestion charges and poor resale values.

Dennis Dunce, leader of the UK Diesel Car Fan Club said:

“We held a minute’s silence this morning at 11am GMT to remember those who have just handed over a lot of money to buy a new diesel car. Builders in particular have been in our thoughts at this time as they are the ones who drive around in their diesel vans. Others include executives who drive around in their posh diesel turbos, as well as farmers who chug around on their tractors. We believe that diesel is the bestest form of fuel there is in the world. Rudolf Diesel would be turning in his grave if they ever find him. Our minute’s silence was observed for one minute.”

Diesel owners are expected to turn to bicycles following the rise in running costs. One diesel owner said:

“Do you want to buy my car? It’s lovely. It’s got an ashtray and everything. I’ll give it to you for a tenner. A fiver. I’ll give it to you for free. Do you want it?”