The new Minister of Loneliness will be working in an attic on her own.
Tracey Crouch said that is only one of her in her team, and that she’s been banished to an attic in Whitehall to do her job.
A spokesman for the government said:
“We want our new minister to really know what it’s like to feel lonely. So we’re putting her up in the attic with some of the office furniture we stopped using back in 1992. Tracey’s job will be to stop people being lonely and she’ll do this by visiting people in a car we’re hired for her. She’ll be stopping at people’s homes and making them cups of tea. We’ll be paying her millions of pounds a year but we don’t want her around in our office so we’re sticking her upstairs.”
Government critics said that the money would be better off making sure that their bins are collected every week instead of every fortnight:
Kelly Arsehole said:
“The money would be better off making sure that their bins are collected every week instead of every fortnight.”