Millennial offended by fact that parents still have sex

A Cardiff millennial has taken to social media to voice concerns that his mum and dad are still bonking.

18-year-old Josh Spunkbubble took to Facebook to voice his concerns about the fact that his parents still have sex. He has also threatened to start a Youtube Channel to highlight his concerns and issues surrounding quadragenarian sex.

Spunkbubble told Walesoncraic:

“I just don’t think it is acceptable! People need to be made aware of the dangers of accidentally hearing your Mum and Dad humping in the middle of the night! Just hearing the Old Man when he hits the vinegar strokes is the worst ever. I have to turn my music up to drown out the sound. Thank God for Mumford and Sons!”

He also highlighted concerns with the possibility of hearing the patter of tiny feet in the future.

“F*ck knows what would happen if my Mum caught pregnant too! They need to be going to bed at a decent hour and getting rest. I have no problem with them reading some John Grisham or Martina Cole with a bedside lamp on. But when I hear them watching ‘jazz movies’ in bed together it just turns my stomach!”

At the time of publishing, Spunkbubble was believed to be considering legal action against both his mother and father. When we contacted Mavis and Billy Spunkbubble for their side of events, they both declined to comment. However, Billy was heard to shout over his shoulder “It’s time that little shit left home anyway!”

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