Matt Hancock to start new career in Merthyr Greggs

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Matt-Hancock

Former UK Health Secretary Matt Hancock is to start a new career in Merthyr Greggs.

Hancock, who has taken the slogan ‘Eat Out To Help Out’ to heart, will start his week’s training for his role as sales assistant on Monday.

A spokeswoman for the UK Government told WalesOnCraic:

“While we were disappointed to see Mr Hancock shafting one of his aides, this is a common theme throughout this government. We understand that Mr Hancock will be strating his new job in the South Wales valleys next week. While we wish him well in his new career, we’d also like to warn the manager that he may start fondling some of the staff there. We know that he’s likely to take a particular shine to Wendy and we wouldn’t want him pushing his sausage roll in her face, if you know what I mean.”

Hancock resigned on Saturday, and apologised for getting caught with his hand on his aide’s arse.

“Hands. Face. Arse. That’s what’ll be our new motto, going forward,” said Mr. Hancock.