Man builds himself an isolation and flagellation masturbation station

457

A man from Newport has built himself an isolation and flagellation masturbation station to pass the time during lockdown.

Martin Strongarm built the contraption after his visits to prostitutes we curtailed due to social distancing.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“I live alone and for the first few weeks were so hard as I’m used to going out and seeing the girls. I was inspired whilst watching an episode of Dickinson’s Real Deal one afternoon though, and thought to myself that I could build myself a masturbation station. At first, it was just a small tray with a magazine holder and a roll of tissue paper on it. But before long, even that wasn’t doing the trick for me. So I spent a week or so, re-engineering the device so now I have everything I need at hand – a portable screen so I can watch filth, an ashtray, a flannel warmer and even some small ropes that flail around and smack me on the cock. The toilet roll holder’s still there too so I’m having the time of my life.”

Martin’s wife Debbie is said to be less than impressed with the machine.

“He’s cracking one off every few minutes and meanwhile, I’m trying to watch Britain’s Got Talent. It’s not right.”