Maerdy girls called to Rio to dish out hickie expertise to swimmers

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Girls from the South Wales valleys have been flown to Rio to help swimmers with their hickies.

Love bites have formed a major role in this year’s Olympics with some swimmers covered all over in them.

One swimmer told WalesOnCraic:

“My coach told me that I go faster if I’m covered in hickies so I got my girlfriend to go mental on with with them. She got a bit bored after a while so he called in a girl from Maerdy. I’ve never known anything like it. She went over me like a Hetty Hoover and the next time I got in the pool, I did a full length in under a second. I’ve always thought that my coach was a bit of a twat, but fair play to him, he’s called it right on this occasion.”

Jade Davies, who was flown out to Rio on a special plane added:

“It’s cowing lush mun. I can’t wait to get my hands on Michael Phelps. He won’t know what’s hit him.”