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Maerdy girls called to Rio to dish out hickie expertise to swimmers

Girls from the South Wales valleys have been flown to Rio to help swimmers with their hickies.

Love bites have formed a major role in this year’s Olympics with some swimmers covered all over in them.

One swimmer told WalesOnCraic:

“My coach told me that I go faster if I’m covered in hickies so I got my girlfriend to go mental on with with them. She got a bit bored after a while so he called in a girl from Maerdy. I’ve never known anything like it. She went over me like a Hetty Hoover and the next time I got in the pool, I did a full length in under a second. I’ve always thought that my coach was a bit of a twat, but fair play to him, he’s called it right on this occasion.”

Jade Davies, who was flown out to Rio on a special plane added:

“It’s cowing lush mun. I can’t wait to get my hands on Michael Phelps. He won’t know what’s hit him.”

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