Lynx release new Port Talbot body spray

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Lynx have released a new Welsh-smelling body spray to help spotty teenagers pull when they go down the club.

The new Port Talbot body spray will provide passing females with a heady mix of sulphur dioxide and melancholic feelings of low self-worth.

Lynx brand manager Craig Armpit told WalesOnCraic:

“We’ve been looking to add a Welsh product to our popular range for some years now. We wanted to reach out to the young bucks of South Wales and we happened to be passing Port Talbot by chance over Christmas. We wound down the window to our car and couldn’t believe that this wonderful, rich aroma was coming from the town itself. When we got back to our lab, we set about recreating the smell and after a few days, we cracked it. We’ve launched a new body spray but we’ll also be looking to add Port Talbot to our shampoo and deodorant ranges in the next few months.”

One of the first people to use the product, Timmy Acne said:

“I sprayed the entire bottle over me before I went down the Legion over the weekend. I had women literally falling at my feet. I’m really impressed by this new product and I’ll definitely be buying more when I get my pocket money.”