Life-size Race and Chase race track to be built in Ebbw Vale

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A life-size Race and Chase race track is set to be built in Ebbw Vale.

It will replace the Circuit of Wales, which has been postponed while the Welsh Assembly sorts their shit out.

Project manager Jimmy BigBalls told WalesOnCraic:

“The circuit will be a figure of 8 with a big yellow bridge on it. Contestants will be chased by a copper in a police car and at moment’s notice, will be able to spin their car around so that they’re facing the other way. That way, they’ll be able to outmanoeuvre the annoying copper.”

Matchbox fan Timmy NoMates said:

“I can’t wait. I’m so excited that a little bit of wee came out when I heard about it.”