Letters to the Editor: January

417
arsehole-driver

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Female Driving Disgrace

Dear Sir,

Driving to the office this morning on the M4, I looked over to my right and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 90 mph with her face up close to her rearview mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple of seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane still working on that make-up!

arsehole-driver

It shocked me so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the bacon roll out of my other hand! In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile from my ear, which fell into the coffee between my legs, causing it to splash and burn on the meat and two veg, causing me to scream, which made me drop the cigarette out of my mouth, ruined my shirt and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL!

Blydi women drivers!

Timmy
Bridgend
(near Maesteg)

Whisky Wobbler

Dear Sir,

I would like to complain bitterly about the so-called health benefits of a ‘tipple before bedtime’. I sunk two bottles of whisky last night and I wasn’t looking or feeling too good this morning, as you can see.

I ended up with two teeth missing, a broken pair of glasses and a toilet pan than can no longer take the onslaught of my morning thunder.

I suggest that people who make alcohol think twice before selling such dangerous drinks to innocent customers like me.

Graham Loosestool
Llandudno

Heartbeat Horror

Dear Sir,

Is it me or is TV’s family favourite ‘Heartbeat’ rather dull?

I bought it on DVD last Sunday and Monday night I sat down to watch it. It was half an hour before I realised that I hadn’t pressed play. Why don’t they spice it up with some sex and murder and maybe a car chase? A bit like Bergerac used to be like when John Nettles used to be in it.

Tina
Ystrad Mynach

Bloody Barry Scott

Dear Sir, Last night me and my wife turned the telly on to watch some telly but were soon bombarded with adverts for Cillit Bang.

We reminisced about the days when Barry Scott used to do the adverts. He’d come on, in between Coronation Street and Emmerdale, but we did wonder why he had to shout so loud? We always heard him the first time.

I’d like to think that wherever he is these days, that he earned enough money to keep him going in his old age. I’d hate to think of him having to work in a call centre somewhere, just to make ends meet, especially since bringing a lot of happiness to our home.

Sid Jenkins
Caerphilly