Labour Party members to star in remake of Alive

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Members of the UK Labour Party are to star in a remake of the 1993 cannibal film Alive.

The film will feature Labour MPs taking turns to bite chunks out of each others’ arses.

A Labour spokesman told WalesOnCraic:

“We can’t wait to star in this new film. At at time when our country needs a bold party that can lead the way for the worried people of Britain, we thought we’d leave them all to it so we can have our 15 minutes of fame. Shooting starts next week and I’m so excited that a little bit of wee has just come out.”

The original movie featured the survivors of an air crash having to come to the conclusion that they may have to eat their dead friends in order to survive.

The film’s director Danny Dickhead said:

“We’re looking to continue the theme of people going ape-shit after a big disaster and not having any kind of coherent plan to bring things to a sensible conclusion. The Labour Party has provided us with a wealth of talent which will fit exactly what we are looking for.”