KFC on lockdown after all the chickens fly away

KFCs across the land have been shut since Sunday afternoon after all the chickens flew away.

Eyewitnesses said that the mass-migration was a sight to behold, as 50,000 chickens upped-straw and buggered off. Nobody is quite sure where they have flown to but many on Twitter have claimed that they’ve gone to a desert island off the coast of Anglesey.

Scientists have been brought in to try to understand the palaver.

Professor Terry Thistletwat said:

“Sometimes chickens just have a tit’s full of being turned into a Zinger Wrap.”

We spoke to one Swansea resident who said:

“I was sitting on my sofa watching reruns of Ready Steady Cook on Gold again when I got a call from my other half. She was on her way back from KFC empty-handed. Apparently, when she pulled up to the drive-through window, a KFC employee told her through tears that they had no chicken. He was able to offer her a Strawberry Krushem, but all we really wanted was a 14 piece Bargain Bucket each, extra fries, 2 large boxes of Popcorn chicken and a Diet Coke.”

When approached for comment a KFC spokesperson said:

“Yes. It is true. Kentucky Fried Chicken has no chicken. We’re hoping they fly back soon but if they don’t, we may have to expand our vegetarian menu. We’ve informed the Colonel.”

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