Kanye West to open jumble sale In Rhyl

US rapper Kanye West is to take time out from being the most talented musician in the world to open a jumble sale in Rhyl.

West, who once said that the saddest part of his life is that he will never see himself perform live, will cut the ribbon at the Women’s Institute Easter Jumble Sale later this month.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“I’m too busy writing history to read it but it sounds like the Womens’ Institute will be full of banging bitches so it’s only right that me, the bestest musician in the world should open their jumble sale.”

Asked if he will be bringing his talented wife Kim Kardashian, West added:

“She’ll be too busy breaking the internet with her fat arse. I will pick up some jams and pickles from the Jam and Pickle stall and take them back to her in LA. Then we can spoon them onto the thighs of teenage virgin girls with 400-carat gold spoons and lick them off. I’m looking forward to it.”

Women’s Institute leader Ethel Leathercrotch added:

“He seems a nice lad. We did want Bob Carolgees but he’s busy that day.”

Image: David Shankbone licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license.

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