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Johnson demands bendy bananas for UK at G7 meeting

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has doubled down on his demand for bendy bananas as part of his Brexit strategy.

Johnson is insistent that the UK should have its own traditional British bendy bananas as part of any EU deal.

A spokesman for Downing Street told WalesOnCraic:

“We wanted to take control back and control is what we will have. We hereby demand that the majestic UK gets any shaped bananas it wants – including the bendy ones that we all love and cherish here in the UK. We will not be dictated to, especially when it comes to yellow crescent-shaped fruits. Our mighty nation should not have to put up with inferior bananas that lack that magic curve. Boris will be giving it to them straight at the G7 meeting this afternoon. We will not flinch. We won World War 2 and we’ll win this too.”

Johnson is expected to also demand that full English breakfasts should also be saved.

“We know what they’re up to with their fancy Continental breakfasts. We’re not having any of that shit,” said the spokesman.

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