John McClane launches Crowdfunder to buy new shoes

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die-hard

Hollywood hard man John McClane has launched an online appeal so that he can buy himself some new shoes.

McClane was caught off-guard at a Christmas party and spent 2 hours running around and stubbing his pinkies on fallen furniture.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“I was admiring myself in the mirror when I heard some bangs and because I’m a Hollywood hard man, I dashed out to see what was going on. But silly me, I’d forgotten to put my shoes on. Before I knew it, I was embroiled in some kind of terrorist situation, which was fine because I had a gun. I chased a few baddies but my main problem was that I kept stubbing my toes on things. At one point, I even stepped on some glass, which started a bit.

“I’ve therefore launched an online campaign so that I can buy myself some new shoes. If possible, I’d like to get some new trainers so that I can go jogging in the evenings once the nights start to get lighter. I’d like red ones with go-faster stripes on them.”

McClaine is also hoping that he can afford some washing powder with the remaining funds, so that he can wash his white vest.