John McClane launches Crowdfunder to buy new shoes


Hollywood hard man John McClane has launched an online appeal so that he can buy himself some new shoes.

McClane was caught off-guard at a Christmas party and spent 2 hours running around and stubbing his pinkies on fallen furniture.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“I was admiring myself in the mirror when I heard some bangs and because I’m a Hollywood hard man, I dashed out to see what was going on. But silly me, I’d forgotten to put my shoes on. Before I knew it, I was embroiled in some kind of terrorist situation, which was fine because I had a gun. I chased a few baddies but my main problem was that I kept stubbing my toes on things. At one point, I even stepped on some glass, which started a bit.

“I’ve therefore launched an online campaign so that I can buy myself some new shoes. If possible, I’d like to get some new trainers so that I can go jogging in the evenings once the nights start to get lighter. I’d like red ones with go-faster stripes on them.”

McClaine is also hoping that he can afford some washing powder with the remaining funds, so that he can wash his white vest.

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