‘Jesus Is a Fictional Character’ says Father Christmas

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Jesus is a fictional character and the Christmas story is a load of hairy old bollocks, Father Christmas has exclusively told WalesOnCraic.

The jovial festive man has slammed the Christmas story, calling it ‘fictional’ and ‘potentially dangerous’.

Speaking to WalesOnCraic, the man in red said:

“These people go telling their kids all about this Jesus bloke. What happens when they grow up and they have to tell these kids that he ain’t real? If you’re in the Valleys, anything could happen. I think that people should get real, stop lying to their kids and tell them how it is.”

But critics have pointed out that Jesus was a real person and that He (capital ‘h’ there) once walked among us on earth.

Fr Ben Down told WalesOnCraic:

“Jesus was a real person. He still is a real person. He floated up into space 2,000 years ago on a big shiny cloud and he’s still with us all now. Somehow. But he is real. I promise. The kids love him.”