Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has told the Labour Conference that he would freeze the price of Freddo chocolate bars if he becomes Prime Minister.
The newly-elected leader, delivering his first speech to the Conference, said that keeping the price of Freddos at a single rate would mean that people who can’t afford chocolate would still be able to afford it.
He told delegates:
“We all know that under the Tories, the price of Freddo bars have risen from 10p to a whopping 25p. This puts it completely out of the pricing range of most schoolkids who like to eat shit on the way to school. If I become Prime Minister, I would look to freeze the price of Freddos for at least 5 months, to make sure that our kids are having something to eat on the way to school. Freddo bars should not be made exclusive to the elite, and if Karl Marx were here, he’d probably say the same thing, although probably in whatever language he spoke. Prussian I think.”
Corbyn also promised to stop leaves falling off trees in autumn and also said that he would segregate posh people from normal people in Waitrose.
“I can tell this Conference now, that should I become Prime Minister, I’d stop leaves falling off trees and segregate posh people from normal people in Waitrose.”