WalesOnCraic has learnt from a reliable source that David Davis, who became Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union since 13 July 2016, is proposing controversial plans to ensure Britain, once and for all, exits the EU.
A document has been obtained from a reliable source at number 9 Downing Street, marked “Draft – Do Not Let The Bastards In The Media See This”. On page 759, at the bottom of the page, in print with a font size of 1, it states that anyone with “IN” at the end of their Christian names will have to obtain new legal documentation as the word “OUT” replaces it.
So if your name is Kevin or Gavin, for example, when the UK leaves the EU, your new legal name will become Gavout or Kevout.
The name Blodwyn is exempt, Welsh men will be relieved to know, not that we are aware of anyone being called Blodwyn in 2016 Wales. The letter “Y” has saved the name Blodwyn becoming Blodwout, says the nameless civil servant.
WalesOnCriac’s political correspondent, Gwynoro Scoggins has been interviewing those affected. Kevin Owen of Blackwood said:
“I voted OUT as I was fed up of the EU telling us what to do, including their Health and Safety rules over Welsh dragons firing the flames from their mouths in built up areas and with youngsters close by. I have already sent off my forms to the DVLA and the Passport Office to change my name to Kevout Owen.”
WalesOnCraic also managed to get a tweet response from former Newport Gwent flanker and Welsh rugby international, Gavin Thomas. His response when being asked how he felt made to change his name to Gavout Thomas cannot be printed here as this is a family page.
WalesOnCraic believes that these name changes come into effect the day the UK exits the EU. Judging by the complexities that are beginning to surface, the UK could have left the EU by 2083. If thats the case, anyone currently alive called Gavin or Kevin are most likely to be dead by 2083, so this news story could just be a load of bollocks.