HSBC To Add Long Queues To Online Banking To Add To Realism of Banking

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HSBC are to add long queues to their online banking to add realism to the experience.

Bosses have instructed staff to add 20 minute queues whenever a customer logs in.

Banking boss Trevor Wanker told WalesOnCraic:

“We like to make our online experiences as true to life as possible. So every time a customer logs on, they’ll be met with five online staff – one sat in the back room staring at a computer screen, one stood with a clipboard asking if anyone wants to use the automated banking-in machine, another one making a cup of tea, one on lunch and one who says ‘Thanks for waiting’ when you finally get to see them. We’re also going to make sure that there’s some arsehole wanting to speak to a manager in front of you, and also some old twat wanting to withdraw £20,000 but have forgotten their cash card. Hopefully, this should make the whole online experience as real as possible.”

Customers are delighted to hear the news. One shop owner said:

“Excellent news. I’d like to take in all my small change and bank that online too as I know that other customers find it annoying but I love it and get a real kick out of it.”

The new system is set to operate from May 1st.