House that’s ‘guaranteed to not to have any spiders in it’ goes up for sale

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A house that’s guaranteed not to have any spiders in it has gone up for sale in South Wales.

The house comes with a 100% cast-iron guarantee that no spiders live in or around the house.

Estate agent Sean ‘Shady’ Glen told WalesOnCraic:

“We know that there is a lot of interest, especially from scary-cats and woofters who don’t like spiders. The house has been treated with a very special chemical which deters any spiders from coming near the house. It means that these people can relax in the knowledge that they won’t find massive hairy spiders in their beds or in their clothes. We’re putting the house on the market at £2 billion because we know that someone somewhere will pay it.”

Prospective buyer Sheila LargeCalves said:

“I want it I want it I want it.”