Homeschooling mum suspended after drinking on the job

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A homeschooling mother has been suspended from her role after she was found drinking on the job.

Karen Wearytits was spotted sinking half a bottle of gin while attempting to teach her daughter Mathematics.

Ms Wearytits’ lawyer issued a statement, which read:

“My client wishes to make it known that she never wanted to be a teacher in the first place. She always wanted to be a nurse and spent many years training to become one. Her role as a teacher has been forced upon her, and as such, she feels very much out of her depth. She is being bombarded with instructions from her daughter’s school, most of it being gobbledegook. My client admits that she downed half a bottle of gin, something that she feels she was pushed to by events. Furthermore, my client will not issue an apology because she really couldn’t give a shit and has had enough of homeschooling.”

Ms Wearytits has been told to stay at home and not to attempt teaching Maths at any level.