This is the heart-warming clickbait moment that we purport to be news – and it will leave you speechless

[EDITOR’S INSTRUCTIONS: Whoever’s looking after this piece – can you chuck something in the headline based around the word heart – something like heart-warming, heart-breaking, heart-stopping, heart-any-old-shit as long as it’s got the word heart in it. Can you add the word speechless in there too – people really want to be left without being able to speak and it really draws the numbers in.

As far as the story goes, find any old shit off the internet that’s gone viral. If you can give it a Welsh spin on things, no matter how tenuous the link, so much the better. You can usually pull something off someone’s Facebook page and spend a few paragraphs describing the Facebook page and what kind of reactions it got. Remember to ask the user’s permission to use their video and make money off it. Dogs being reunited with their owners are usually good clickbait stories because people want to see if the owner cries. If they cry, you’re on to a winner. Ideally, we want an inane story about jack shit that people will want to share with their thicko friends.

Remember to add in some links to some of our other clickbait stories too, like this one.

In terms of monetising the post, our advertising boys will take care of that. If you can find a video, let us know because we can add a 3 minute advert before the 13 second clip. We’ll also post shitloads of pop-ups and other adverts so it doesn’t really need to be well written because no-one will be able to get to it anyway.

Images – just grab some shit off the web.

Once you’ve written it, submit it for review and our subs will take care of the rest. We’ll get analytics on it once it’s live and if we can make a bit of money off this clickbait post, there’ll be an extra biscuit for you waiting in the staff cupboard. Thanks. Ed

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