Grand National horses say ‘F*ck you’ and go on strike

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The horses at this year’s Grand National race have gone on strike and told jockeys that they can run the race themselves.

The infamous race, renowned for the deaths of several horses over the years, was due to take place this afternoon.

One of the horses, who wanted to remain anonymous, told WalesOnCraic:

“If they think that I’m going out there and breaking my neck so that they can win a fiver down at William Hill, they can go f*ck themselves. I’ve got better things to do here like sitting in my field and eating some grass thanks. Those short-arsed jockeys can go run the race themselves for all I care – and if they go breaking a leg, I’ll be the first one there with a nice big gun to stick a bullet in his head.”

Jockey Seamus O’Seamus voiced his concerns over the strike:

“We can’t do the race without those horses. We guys are just too short, what with our little legs and all that. I’m wondering if we can get ourselves some camels or something. Can they jump? I’m not sure.”

Millions of pounds are won and lost at the Grand National, which takes place at Aintree.