Government restrict sale of Werther’s Originals to quarantined pensioners

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Supermarkets across the UK have been ordered to restrict the sale of Werther’s Originals to pensioners.

It follows news that over 70s have been advised to not leave their home for the next ten years.

A spokeswoman for the Government told WalesOnCraic:

“These are unprecedented times and I cannot think of a time when we’ve had to restrict Werther’s Originals like this. Sadly, faced with the facts, we have regrettably made the decision to limit the amount of Werther’s Originals to just one bag per person. While this may be hard on some, we need to think of helping everyone at this time. We have had reports of one pensioner in Wrexham who has hoarded several packets and is selling them down at her local coffee morning. We strongly urging people to limit the amount of Werther’s Originals that they eat so that we can all get through this together.”

One supermarket boss said:

“It was carnage in the Werther’s Originals aisle last night. There were Zimmer frames flying through the air and one woman even had her false teeth knocked out by an airborne packet of Jammy Dodgers. Never known anything like it.”