Government encourages masks in the home to stop people eating

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The government has officially backed the advice to wear masks in the home – to stop people from eating.

A government spokeswoman said that there were concerns that people were turning into the size of brick shithouses.

Wendy Doublewobble, Minister for Lard Arses told WalesOnCraic:

“With many of us confined to our homes, there’s not much else we can do other than eat. Last night, I ate two whole pizzas, a packet of Giant Buttons – and that was for starters! I then went on to eat three takeaways and a mint Vienetta. I know that this scenario is being played out across the country and we’d like to encourage people not just to eat because they’re bored. We would encourage people to wear masks in the house so that every time they lift a Wagon Wheel to their mouths, they’ll question whether they really need to eat it.”

The latest lockdown has seen a dramatic rise in the number of round people in Wales.

“We want people to walk back to work, not roll back to work,” added Doublewobble.