Government awards £5bn cold vaccine storage to Mr Whippy


The government in Westminster has handed a £5bn cold vaccine storage to Mr Whippy.

The new vaccine, which has to be stored at temperatures of -700°C, will be kept alongside Funny Feet and 2 Ball Screwballs.

A spokeswoman for the government said:

“We know Mr Whippy because he’s always round our place so instead of going through the proper channels, we thought that it was just easier if we gave him £5bn and asked him to look after the vaccine for us. It also solves the problem of how we get the vaccines to the people. We are envisaging people getting the vaccine when they reach out to pay for their ice creams. We’ll just get Mr Whippy to stab them in the arm. That way, we won’t have to deal with anit-vaxxers either. It’s a win-win situation.”

Mr Whippy told WalesOnCraic:

“Lovely. I’m retiring as of today and I’m going to buy a tropical island where I can tan my lilly-white arse. Bye.”

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