The Government is considering allowing bacon rashers to be washed in Domestos.
It follows news that they are also thinking of allowing chicken to be washed in chlorine.
A spokeswoman for the Government said:
“We really couldn’t give a shit about how our country prepares its dead animal flesh for human consumption. We are looking to cut corners all the way through the process and if that means washing bacon rashers in Domestos, then so be it. After all, we give little consideration to the lives of the animals from whom the flesh is stripped, so why should we worry about those who eat it?”
One pig said:
“I’ve been stuck in a pen in a dark barn since the day I was born. I have no choice what happens to me after they’ve chopped me up into bits. The chickens on the farm feel the same. The only way they’ll ever get a wash is when they’re dead.”