Government adds three week extension onto indefinite lockdown

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The government has today announced a three-week extension onto the indefinite lockdown.

Ministers said that they’d add on three weeks to the non-existent date when lockdown measures aren’t eased.

Government minister Rob Dickwad told WalesOnCraic:

“Wiffle waffle piffle poffle. We’re taking all measures to move the mountain and straining every sinew. These are unprecedented times and we’re all working tirelessly to achieve whatever it is we’re looking to achieve. Wiffle waffle piffle poffle. We’re being guided by the science wiffle waffle piffle poffle and so on and so forth. We’re going to add on three more weeks Wiffle waffle piffle poffle and so on and so forth. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank whoever we’re supposed to be thanking, including those people who we’ve shipped in from Europe to pick our lettuces because the lazy shits on the dole can’t be arseed to do it.”

The three-week extension will come into effect when the lockdown ends and will be enforced by the army.