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Gene Simmons seeks to register trademark on iconic wanker gesture

Kiss frontman Gene Simmons has applied to trademark the iconic wanker gesture.

Simmons claims he invented the gesture which is used by individuals to denote the presence of a wanker.

A spokesman told WalesOnCraic:

“Gene has invented so many things in his life. He was the first man to fly a plane, he landed on the moon back in 1945 and he was also a pioneer in the telecommunications industry. What many people also don’t know is that he invented the iconic ‘wanker’ gesture, which is used regularly on football terraces and playgrounds worldwide. Mr Simmons has applied to the Trademark people to trademark the wanker gesture so that he can claim royalties whenever anyone uses it. He’s found himself in a bit of a pickle financially and needs some dosh to see him through his autumn years.”

A spokesman from the Trademark Office said:

“He can apply if he wants. We’ll charge him the standard fee and we’ll then tell him to fuck off.”

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