Firework arseholes preparing to be firework arseholes

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Firework arseholes across Wales are preparing to be firework arseholes once again.

Firework arseholes traditionally let off fireworks well in advance of Bonfire Night, much to the annoyance of normal people.

A spokesman for the Association of Firework Arseholes told WalesOnCraic:

“We’ve got shitloads of fireworks stocked up because we want to start early. This year, we’re hoping to not only annoy people with pets, we’re looking to add pensioners and those with small children to our list. Because we’re sad little shits, it’s the only bit of attention we get and as the saying goes, bad attention is better than no attention at all.”

Bonfire Night traditionally celebrates the hanging and chopping up of a half-dead man a few hundred years ago.