Evil man ‘deliberately put his black wheelie bin out on a green wheelie bin day to confuse elderly neighbours’

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An evil Cardiff man deliberately put his black wheelie bin out on a green wheelie bin day to confuse elderly neighbours.

That’s the scandalous claim of pensioner Gurtrude Leatherbottom, who followed suit and put her black wheelie bin out too.

In a state of distress, she told WalesOnCraic:

“I thought it couldn’t have been right as I was sure that I’d put out the black wheelie bin last week. The lads from the Council only collect them every two weeks. I usually have shitloads of rubbish to get rid of so late at night, I tend to sneak out and drop my rubbish into other people’s black bins. But this morning, I woke up and looked out of my window to see that Gary TwoPorches had put his black bin out for collection. My memory’s not as good as it used to be and I didn’t want to miss out on a black bin collection if there was one so I had to put my slippers on and put my black bin out. As it happened, it wasn’t a black bin day and I now have the embarrassment of bringing it back to the house. That Gary TwoPorches did it deliberately, the little twat.”

Gary TwoPorches was adamant that it was just a mistake. He said:

“To be honest love, I’m so smacked up to the tits, I’ve got no idea what day of the week it was. I’m also colour blind so I just stuck any old bin out. If Leatherbottom wants a fight, I’ll meet her out down by the park. Tell her to bring her mates.”