English schoolchildren to meet up in zoos from Monday

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Schoolchildren in England have told WalesOnCraic that they’re going to meet their mates at the local zoo.

While schools remain closed, the only way that they are going to get to see their mates is at the local zoo.

One child told WalesOnCraic:

“I’ve not seen my mates for months on end. I’ve got no idea what Boris is up to but I do know that he’s allowing us all to go to the zoo. While I’m not particularly interested in seeing caged wild animals, it will afford me the opportunity to see my mates if we all go there on the same day. I’ve prepared some packed lunches for the lads, including, dare I say it, some pickled eggs. How we do love a pickled egg. The zoo is open on Monday so I’ll be there with all my muckers.”

Boris announced that zoos can reopen on Monday and that single people can go and have sex there if required.