English living in Wales to pronounce ‘tooth’ and ‘saucepan’ correctly to continue living here

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A new law has been passed by the Welsh Assembly to enforce English people to pronounce the words ‘tooth’ and ‘saucepan’ correctly.

The new law encourages English people to commit to the Welsh way of life if they want to live here.

An Assembly spokeswoman said:

“They can’t just wander into our country and do things the way they want them to do them. They did that hundreds of years ago and we’re not having it now. The new law requires English people living in Wales to pronounce the words ‘tooth’ and ‘saucepan’ correctly, otherwise they will be asked to pack their bags and leave the country. If they want to live here, they have to abide by our rules and do things the way we do them. How can they stand there and say the word ‘tooth’ like the word ‘booth’ and keep a straight face? I don’t know who they think they are. And as for the way they say ‘saucepan’ – don’t even get me started because I’ll kick off.”

Tarquin Smythe-Peacock, an Englishman living in Wales said:

“This is racism as its worst. I’ll continue to speak the way I want to speak and I don’t care about any new laws.”

Mr Smythe-Peacock has since been deported back to England.