Drakeford reinstates Severn Bridge tolls

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Glorious Supreme Leader of Wales, Mark Drakeford, has ordered the reinstatement of the Severn Bridge tolls.

Drakeford said that the tolls should act as a deterrent to any English people attempting to visit the wonderful country of Wales.

In a statement, the Welsh Assembly said:

“We’ve got no idea what Boris is doing as he seems to be hiding in a fridge most of the time these days. We however, are ready for an English invasion. Within 10 days, our land will be free and liberated. Those in England will only look on with envy. It is only natural that they should seek solace in our lands. But we are ready. We are vigilant. And we’re sticking the fricking Severn Bridge tolls back where they belong – on the Severn Bridge.”

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced a month-long national lockdown for England. The Welsh Assembly has also ordered fortifications of all the Welsh castles along the border to keep the English out.