An effigy of Donald Trump that’s set to be burnt for Bonfire Night has been caught touching up bystanders.
Eyewitnesses claim the effigy’s wandering hands were taking an uninvited walk through some bystanders’ lady gardens.
Debbie Undergunt, who was the first victim to make the claim said:
“I just went along to see what the fuss was all about. I was very impressed by his imposing figure but as I went to take a photo with my phone, one of his giant hands came down and touched me on my twinkle. I thought nothing of it at first but when it happened a second, a third and a fourth time, I knew something was up. I brushed his hand away and went and stood further back. After a while, I noticed that he was doing it with some of the other girls who were nearer the front. He seemed to be ‘feeding the horses’ of many bystanders so I phoned the police and went home to moan about in on Facebook.”
A spokesman for the effigy said that all 43 women who came forward were making it up and that they’d get sued next week.
“The effigy’s hands were just flapping about in the breeze,” he told reporters.