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Dog walkers not getting recognition in Midsomer Murders

This week sees the broadcast of the new series of Midsomer Murders and it also marks the third month of the strike by dog walkers.

WalesOnCraic’s award winning Crime Reporter, Robin Banks reports from the Association of Chief Constable’s meeting at ACAS with NUDE (The National Union of Dogwalking Exercisers), where talks have broken down, with no agreement reached.

NUDE General Secretary, Archie Grimscrote said:

“The problem arose in North Wales where NUDE members were annoyed that they were not getting the recognition from the police and the media for reporting dead bodies that they find, when walking their pooches.

“Every TV, radio and newspaper report states that a missing body was found by a dog walker, out walking their dog. Does that dog walker or Bonza get any recognition or thanks? NO. An emphatic NO. This cannot continue,” said Archie Grimscrote.

Archie Grimscrote continued:

“From a dispute that started in Llandudno back in October, it’s now spread across Wales, to the rest of the UK. Dog walkers are thoroughly fed up of not being interviewed in the media, and their beloved pooches getting any recognition or thanks. Indeed, it was Myrtle Morgan-Morgan who proposed that dog walkers down their dog leads and exercise their pooches in their back gardens instead.”

The Head of the Welsh Chief Constable’s Association, Hywel Davies-Rimjob said:

“Welsh police forces regret the action of NUDE members and we are aware that bodies are mounting up across Wales and now in the rest of the UK as dogwalkers are not taking their dogs into the countryside. I can forsee that there will be bodies festering everywhere, as they do on Midsomer Murders.”

Home Secretary, Theresa May was asked to comment, but said “No comment.”

Having spoken to Myrtle Morgan-Morgan, WalesOnCraic understands that NUDE are determined not to back down and calls upon the Home Secretary to intervene as there will be one hell of a stink from the rotting bodies, especially when spring arrives. As Myrtle said in an exclusive interview, “There are families out there missing their loved ones and they rely on us dog walkers bringing their loved ones home, sooner, rather than later.”

Jeremy Corbyn was asked to comment and referred WalesOnCraic to his Shadow Crime Minister. We approached Alice Snidebreath, to be told that she’s just resigned her job and to contact Jeremy Corbyn.

The new series of Midsomer Murders airs on ITV 1 at 8pm on Wednesdays, but does not include any dogwalkers, to the annoyance of NUDE General Secretary, Archie Grimscrote.

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