Doctors Give Miner’s Helmets To Women Who Get Up For a Piss 20 Times a Night

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Doctors in mid Wales are prescribing miner’s helmets to women who get up for a piss 20 times a night.

It cuts down on waking everybody else up in the house and also saves women from tripping over kids’ toys and sleeping dogs.

Dr FeelBetter of Penllynmaer Surgery told WalesOnCraic:

“I gets loads of birds in here complaining that they have to get up for a slash 20 times a night. There’s nothing I can do for them apart from give them a hat with a light on the front so that they don’t go tripping over toys and pets. So far, I’ve prescribed over 100 miner’s helmets and so far, they seem to be doing the trick.”

Mum-of-six Rita DroopyTits said:

“I’m up and down in the night like a bastard yo-yo. Last night I tripped over a cocking Lego set and the night before that, I tripped over the dog who was sleeping at the top of the stairs. I nearly went arse-over-tit. But now I keep a miner’s helmet next to my best. Every time I gets up for a slash, I sticks my helmet on, and the lovely light shows me the way to the pisser. My husband loves it because it means that I don’t have to turn the big light on and wake him up. He says that I sound like a giraffe when I sit’n’squat and sometimes, I let out a little chuff too.”