Delivery cyclists to get bike lights from government

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Delivery cyclists across Wales are to get lights for their bikes thanks to a new scheme from the Welsh government.

Currently, delivery cyclists prefer to cycle on main roads in the dark, dressed as ninjas, and without lights on their bikes.

A spokesman for the Welsh government told WalesOnCraic:

“We are delighted to announce that all delivery cyclists across Wales will be given a free set of lights for their bike. We understand that they like to operate under the cover of darkness but for the rest of us, they’re a pain in the arse. Every delivery cyclist will be able to come and collect their free lights from us here down the Bay. They can bring free food while they’re at it as we work very hard to make sure that all your bins are collected.”

Delivery cyclists traditionally cycle around city centres in all-black clothing to help confuse well-meaning motorists, who too have to use the roads. The cyclists usually deliver cold, limp meals to students who can’t be arsed to cook.