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David Cameron welcomes in Year of the Pig

Former Brexit shit-stormer David Cameron has said that he’s welcoming in the Year of the Pig.

Cameron once admitted to having a sordid affair with a trottered friend while at university.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“Myself and pigs go back a long way so it’s nice therefore to welcome in the Year of the Pig in style. I’ve got a few piggy friends coming around for tea tonight and hopefully after a few Babychams, they’ll be up for a good time. The Year of the Pig is a very special time for me and I’m going to be spending the next year relaxing watching our great country unravel with my piggy friends. I’ve got myself a few cans of Skol for tonight so if you don’t mind, I need to go shower and get ready for the arrival of my guests.”

The former PM said that he’s currently working on an erotic novel based on pigs.

“I haven’t got a name for it yet but it’s guaranteed to get you hot under the collar.”