Cops baffled by sandcastle’s overnight disappearance from beach

Police on Gower are investigating a mysterious sandcastle theft.

Officers have been left scratching their heads after receiving a report of a stolen sandcastle from popular Caswell beach on Gower peninsula.

It is believed a holidaymaker spent hours constructing an intricate mini replica of an ancient fortification only to find it completely gone the following morning.

Holidaymaker turned sandcastle builder, Doug Spade, aged 19 of Twatville in Sussex, said:

“I spent hours building a scale model of Winsor Castle. I even placed miniature figures of the Royal family on the battlement. I used the figures from our wedding cake for Harry and Meghan but used the wife’s red nail varnished to get his hair right. It looked the dog’s bollocks but I do have a red setter.

“I was all fine when we went home at around 9pm but when we came back the next morning it was all gone. The sand looked as though it had never been touched; it was like a billiard table only sand coloured. Whether it was jealousy or not, I don’t know.

“I called the police and, in all fairness, a load of them came straight away and spent the whole day investigating on the beach. They took lots of crime scene photos. I’m not sure if they suspect the misses but they were mostly of her in her bikini. They also spent a lot of time quizzing the female lifeguards.”

A spokesman for the police, Sergeant Ray Chism, said:

“From what I understand the castle was well fortified, it had a moat and everything, but someone still managed to get their hands on it.

“We have spoken to dozens of people but no one saw it being carried from the beach.”

Vowing not to give up he added:

“We take all allegations of theft seriously and are determined to get to the bottom of this, even if it takes all summer.”

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