A Christmas shop has opened in Cardiff for grumpy f*ckers who hate Christmas.
The shop called ‘Grumpy F*ckers’ Christmas Shop’, owned by the same people who brought you ‘Grumpy F*ckers’ Coffee Shop’, was overwhelmed by demand on its first day.
Manager Simon ‘TightArse’ Scrooge told WalesOnCraic:
“We’ve got everything for people who hate Christmas – offensive wrapping paper, grey-coloured tinsel and life-sized Santas that you can kick the shit out of. Our first day was very busy, especially since one of our lads was ill with gonorrhea that he picked up from some slapper on the weekend. We’re hoping to sell a lot of stock so that we can shut the shop early and f*ck off to Hawaii.”
Shopper Darren Grimgrits said:
“It’s a shop full of shitty Christmas stuff. I’m supposed to get excited about this am I?”
Another shopper said:
“I hates Christmas. If I anyone wishes me a Merry Christmas, I sit outside their house at night in my car and constantly toot my horn until they come outside to shout at me and then I drive away.”