News
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2.6KBoris to start new career in Greggs
Former Prime Minister Boris Johnson is to start a new career in Greggs. The messy-haired toff is expected to start his initial...
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2.0KLarry the Cat resigns from No. 10
The Minister For Feline Fellows, Larry the Cat, has tendered his resignation from the Cabinet. The four-legged furball handed in his letter...
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3.8KSpeed limit for Brynglas Tunnels raised to 20mph
The speed limit at Newport’s Brynglas Tunnels has officially been raised by the Welsh government. The stretch of road is most often...
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1.4KThousands of Welsh football fans phone in sick for November
Thousands of Welsh football fans have pre-booked their sickness days for November and December. Employers across Wales have been inundated with ‘pre-booked...
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1.7KQueen to celebrate 96th birthday by watching Netflix and getting shit-faced
The Queen has announced that she will be celebrating her 96th birthday by watching Netflix and getting shit-faced. The long-reigning monarch has...
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Johnson threatens to take Putin off his Christmas card list
Boris Johnson has reacted furiously to news that Russia has invaded Ukraine. Johnson is reportedly threatening to take the Russian President off...
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2.7KBoris bans Putin from Peppa Pig World
Hardline Prime Minister Boris Johnson has banned Vladimir Putin from entering Peppa Pig World. The announcement comes amid a flurry of sanctions...
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3.3KMet Office issues Red Wheelie Bin Warning ahead of Storm Eunice
The Met Office has issued a rare Red Wheelie Bin Warning ahead of Storm Eunice, which is set to hit South Wales...
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Prince Andrew pays out large amount of money for something he denies doing
Prince Andrew has paid an undisclosed but probably very large financial settlement for something he denies ever doing. The Prince will have...
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2.1KLiz Truss sells pork to the Russians
Foreign Secretary Liz Truss has successfully sold pork to the Russians at a high-level meeting in Moscow. Truss successfully opened up pork...