News
-
845Woman hospitalised with Holiday Envy
A woman from Bargoed has been admitted to hospital after suffering a severe case of Holiday Envy. Ethel Skintarse was taken to...
-
2.5K
Woman hospitalised after washing flaps with menthol shower gel
A woman from Newport is recovering at home after washing her flaps with a menthol-flavoured shower gel. Eileen Thunderflaps thought she’d use...
-
743Sunak promises to freeze price of Space Raiders
Prime Minister hopeful Rishi Sunak has pledged to freeze the price of Space Raiders in his latest manifesto. Sunak said that the...
-
1.4KNew vegan sausage rolls contain synthetic eyeballs and arseholes
A new range of vegan sausage rolls that go on sale today contain fake eyeballs and arseholes. The sausage-makers say that they...
-
1.5KRishi Sunak promises to fix economy shafted by previous Chancellor
PM hopeful Rishi Sunak has laid out his vision of the country should he be chosen as the country’s new leader. The...
-
2.5KBoris to start new career in Greggs
Former Prime Minister Boris Johnson is to start a new career in Greggs. The messy-haired toff is expected to start his initial...
-
1.9KLarry the Cat resigns from No. 10
The Minister For Feline Fellows, Larry the Cat, has tendered his resignation from the Cabinet. The four-legged furball handed in his letter...
-
3.7KSpeed limit for Brynglas Tunnels raised to 20mph
The speed limit at Newport’s Brynglas Tunnels has officially been raised by the Welsh government. The stretch of road is most often...
-
1.4KThousands of Welsh football fans phone in sick for November
Thousands of Welsh football fans have pre-booked their sickness days for November and December. Employers across Wales have been inundated with ‘pre-booked...
-
1.6KQueen to celebrate 96th birthday by watching Netflix and getting shit-faced
The Queen has announced that she will be celebrating her 96th birthday by watching Netflix and getting shit-faced. The long-reigning monarch has...