Carmarthen tax avoidance case dismissed

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Magistrates today dismissed the case of a Carmarthen plumber charged with tax avoidance.

Bertie ‘Monkeywrench’ Guttering, 36, refused to answer the charges against him, as his business affairs were a private matter.

He told the court:

“I’m not going to tell you whether I have been doing jobs on the side for cash in hand, or going to discuss my Panama accounts. This is a private matter and none of your business.

“I have a salary as a plumber and I have some savings, which I get some interest from and I have a house, which we used to live in, which we now let out, while we’re living in Priory Street – and that’s all I have.

“I have no shares, no offshore trusts, no offshore funds, nothing like that.And you will just have to take my word for it.”

Magistrate, Cedric Slyme, agreed that the charges brought against Mr Guttering were an invasion of his privacy:

“I am shocked that this case has even come to court. Mr Guttering’s business affairs are clearly a private matter and nobody else’s business. HMRC will just have to trust him.”

Greta Grabalot from HMRC expressed surprise at the verdict:

“I can’t believe they are going to let him get away with tax avoidance. Who does he think he is? He’s only a fecking plumber!”