Cardiff Man finds David Dickinson’s face in his conker

A man from Cardiff has found an image of David Dickinson’s face in a conker.

Bryn Cartwright from Splott was on his way down the Kwik Save to buy some moistened toilet tissues when he spotted the conker lying on the floor. Bryn instantly recognised the TV personality’s face on the conker and picked it up to impress his girlfriend with later.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“I couldn’t believe my eyes. There I was, just minding my own business and there he was – just lying there like he’d fallen from a tree or something. I immediately knew it was David’s face because I watch the leather-faced twat on telly every afternoon. I’m not a big fan because he’s always sticking his orange face into other people’s dealings and fucking up their business deals. But I had to pick this conker up – it could be worth millions.”

Bryn’s girlfriend Sandra was so impressed with the conker that she sat on Bryn’s face for three hours.

“I love Bryn. He’s always trying to impress me with one thing or another. Last week, he drank six pints and was able to piss so hard that it reached the ceiling. I thought he couldn’t better himself but then he turns up with a conker that looks like David Dickinson. I want to marry him. Bryn that is, not David.”