Budget cuts see police helicopter downgraded

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Cuts to the Welsh police force will see the fleet of police helicopters being replaced by a heli-riotvan.

The heli-van, which can transport up to 10 pissheads back to the cop shop, will go into service in 2017. It will serve the entire country.

Darren ‘Chopper’ Chopper, head of the police helicopter unit in Wales, told WalesOnCraic:

“I don’t know what the frig is going on. During the elections, they promised us an Airwolf each and now they’re scrapping that and giving us this shed to fly. Worse still, there’s only going to be one of them across the whole of Wales so god knows how I’m going to get home at night as the boys usually drop me off. I’m not happy about this so I’m going to write to my local MP, whoever the frig that is. I’m also going to write to my local newspaper, if it’s still in existence. This is not on.”

A police helicopter pilot who didn’t want to be named said:

“I quite like the look of it. It looks very noisy which is great because I can fly it around at night and keep people awake for no particular reason.”