Brynglas Tunnels to close ahead of England bus

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Newport’s famous Brynglas Tunnels are to close ahead of the England squad’s arrival.

Highway officials say that they made the decision as a ‘bit of a laugh’. It means the bus would have to take a ‘traumatising’ 17-hour detour through the tropical town of Newport.

A spokeswoman said:

“We found out last night that the England squad are leaving it late to come to Wales. They’re setting off in rush hour so we thought we’d be a bit naughty and shut the Brynglas Tunnels just before they arrive. That means that they’ll be re-routed through Newport, where they can take in the majestic scenery and tropical wildlife. It also means that they won’t get to their hotel until very late, which will obviously help our lads when it comes to the match tomorrow.”

A spokesman for Rugby England said:

“What is this Newport of which one speaks? Is it like our Henley-On-Thames? Can one get a cucumber sandwich when one is there? This all sounds jolly exciting and one looks forward to it. Tally ho.”

The tunnels will reopen as soon as the England bus starts its detour.

Image: Norman Hyett