Brexit ‘wholly justified’ after Eurovision debacle


Brexit has been deemed wholly justified after the UK scored nil points at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

Supporters of the UK entry say that Brexit was absolutely the correct way to go and that Europe can go sing their own silly, childish songs after dismissing James Newman’s masterful song, ‘Embers’.

One viewer said:

“I don’t care if we’ve lost all our trade treaties; I don’t care if we’ve lost all our fishing quotas; I don’t care if we’ve lost freedom of travel; I don’t care if the £330 million that Boris promised for the NHS failed to materialise – I am SO glad that we are out of that shitshow that is Europe. The UK provides quality, grown-up songs, year in, year out. And what do they give us? All kinds of weird shit. And what do we get? Nil points! Nil points! It’s an outrage. I am SO glad that I voted for Brexit. That’ll show them!”

Sing-songwriter James Newman is just one in a long line of UK entries that have failed to score any points.

“European judges often dismiss the UK entries to show how jealous they are of our country,” added another viewer. “They don’t have the likes of Paul Chuckle, Alan Titchmarsh and that woman who does that nature programme.”

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