Brexit could see price of chip butties triple

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People across Wales are having a meltdown at the prospect of Britain leaving the European Union with the Welsh Assembly speculating that a chip butty could triple in price.

The news has sent shockwaves through small towns and villages throughout God’s country with many people wishing they hadn’t voted to leave Europe.

All this uncertainty has left Welsh chip lovers worried that they will have to start eating healthily post Brexit.

Here at WalesOnCraic, we canvassed the opinions of some experts with regards to the impending chip crisis. Brenda Jenkins, most commonly known as Fat Bap Brenda, said:

“I won’t lie to you when I heard the news about the chips I was bloody tamping.”

“I have been brought up on chips all my life. I have a chip butty for my dinner as a snack and then fish and chips for my tea. If there are any leftovers, which isn’t often, to be honest, I will heat them up in the micro and have them with some curry sauce.”

When pressed on the issue Miss Jenkins, aged 27, a single mother of seven from Swansea, admitted she has started stockpiling chips just in case her worse fears come true.

“Okay, yes if you really want to know I have been doing what the big companies have been doing and stockpiling the chips for when the dreaded day comes and we run out of chips.”

Miss Jenkins added:

“I wish I never voted to leave the EU, whatever the EU is. I only voted to leave because I had the shits on holiday in Malta. Stuff it, Tenby it is next year, even if it does piss down all week.”

While many people in Wales hold the same fears as Miss Jenkins Gorseinon, a small town within the City and County of Swansea, which has proudly held the nickname of Chip City for a number of years has no such fears due to the high volume of takeaway establishments.

The owner of the newly renamed Chips4Teaboys, Doug Spud said:

“I suppose you could say we were ahead of our time with stockpiling. We started buying extra spuds during 1982 when we had all that snow. And I have kept them in the freezer since then.”

“We have seen an increase in sales of chips since they announced this Brexit thing. I am the only Chip Shop in Gors to be selling them at 10p a portion. You can’t go wrong at that price mun. The sizes I serve can keep a family of eight going until at least the following morning. Bring on Brexit I say,” added a bullish Mr Spud.